Slow Cookin' My Way to Delicious

I know, I know--it's been awhile. In the last recipe post I made: Broiled Bacon-Fat Smeared Broccolini, I made the case for how I eat so simply, there's no recipe required. When you are eating meals with simply a meat, a vegetable, and some fat, there's not much to blog about. The old standbys of carnitas, grass-fed beef steaks, grass-fed beef burgers, rotisserie chicken, and turkey breast are all my go-tos. And that's okay. Most of us don't live our lives with something new at every meal. If you like something, you eat it often until you get sick of it. Most people rotate their meals around just a few different varieties. And that's okay as long as you're trying to get a good variety of healthy foods on your rotation. If a recipe is good enough to keep your attention and appetite for quite some time, that's a winner!

Since I HATE cooking late in the evening when I get home after work, I've found myself relying on store bought meals too often. Sure, they can be satisfying paleo-style eats, but it gets tiresome and expensive. I was looking for something new to try when slow cookers caught my eye. I had always thought of them as a fire hazard and never dreamed of leaving something plugged in and cooking all day alone with the cats while I was out and about. But then I realized I could cook something overnight and everything changed. I went with Consumer Search reviews and bought a slow cooker.

Wow, with just a little prep at night and no fuss cooking while I'm sleeping, I have food for a good few days. And the best part--it's freakin' delicious!

My first recipe was a chicken following fellow paleo/primal blogger (who btw is awesome--check out the linked website for fantastic recipes!) The Nutty Kitchen's recipe for Crock Pot Spiced Whole Chicken. OMG it was amazing!  I loved the spice combination and the hearty stew-like sauce it made without any added liquid.  You HAVE to try this recipe!  I fell head over heels for my slow cooker :)

My second attempt was a pot roast. I was thinking of doing onion soup since the onions came out so terrific in the chicken recipe, but onions and I have a hard time getting along. I've tried glasses, contacts, and even my old chemistry goggles, but I still have a hard time cutting them or even being the house with them once they are cut.  I am streaming for the rest of the evening while dinner cooks, even if I wasn't even in the room while they were being cut.  Not fun.

So I had a defrosted Morris Grassfed chuck roast and not much else.  Time to pull something together: MacGyver-style.  Since I had recently marinated a grass-fed flank steak in cilantro and lime juice, I had some leftover limes and chopped cilantro. We always have some coconut milk lurking around the cabinets, so that was an easy pairing for a coconut curry. Thai red curry paste was hiding in the fridge and I had just enough to create a little paste. The garlic packets are now my go-to for easy garlic prep (don't hate me). I threw everything in and realized I forgot to cut the roast to get more flavor into the thick hunk of meat. So sliced it in the pot (carefully! without scratching the pot), rubbed it all around with my hands to moosh the milk and seasoning all together into all the nooks and crannies, then closed the lid.  It took all of five minutes. Yay!

I looked at the slow cooker directions for chuck roast and decided it was somewhere between beef roast (which was 4hrs on Low) and brisket (which was 8hrs on Low). Six hours was perfectly tender and cooked with an aroma that filled the house, giving the "OMG that smells so good it made me hungry" response from my husband every time he went outside and came back inside.  Cool!

That lasted us a good week having it sporadically with lunches and dinners so as not to get tired of it. The sauce was AMAZING sopped up in cilantro-lime cauliflower rice and served in a bowl with a spoon like a stew.  I even sopped it up with broiled bacon-fat smeared broccolini (I could have that every dinner)!  So we tried the recipe a second time, being more diligent with the prep and using a different, tougher cut of meat to see how it works and....perfection! The roast is outstanding once again. Try it yourself!

Slow Cooker Coconut Curry Pot Roast
Lip-smacking delicious--this is juicy, tender, shred-able beef fit for a feast!


Prep Time: 5-10min
Cooking Time: 6hrs on Low (or according to your own slow cooker's directions)

Ingredients:
1 can of coconut milk (NOT light)
1/2 bunch of washed, chopped cilantro
1-2 limes, juiced
2T Thai red curry paste (make sure the ingredients fit the bill, I used Thai Kitchen brand)
3 packets (more or less, your choice) of garlic (or about 20+ cloves)
3-4 (or more) -lb grass-fed beef roast (sirloin and chuck have worked well), deeply scored for more surface area
NOTE: despite being a curry, this one is very mild on the spiciness--if you want to liven it up, try adding some heat yourself (more/hotter curry paste, hot peppers, cayenne, etc.).

Method:
After you have the ingredients prepped, make a paste of the curry and lime juice so you can smear it over the roast (nooks and crannies too!).  Add the garlic and insert into the deep cuts in the roast (it'll melt like but-tah--oh yeah!).  Sprinkle on the cilantro and shove some in the pockets of the roast.  Now pour on the coconut milk.  Lid.  Walk away for six hours and return to deliciousness!

Note: most slow cookers change to warm after their cook time, so it's best to make this right before you go to bed.  Then, when you wake up, you can turn it off and cool it on the counter before whacking it in the refrigerator before you leave for work.  When you return home, the sauce will have congealed a bit, but some heat will melt it all back into a savory, deliciously rich sauce and warm that meat for shred-able delight.  Serve with a spoon as a stew or over Cilantro-Lime Cauliflower Rice (recipe below) to sop up that flavor.  Yum!

Leftovers will last covered/sealed in the refrigerator for a week.

Cilantro-Lime Cauliflower Rice
I was trying to replicate Chipotle's cilantro-lime rice and it works--quite tasty and a great accompaniment to the roast for sopping up the delicious curry sauce!


Prep Time: 15min (or less)
Cook Time: 15min (or less)

Ingredients:
1 lime (or more to taste)
1/2 bunch washed, chopped cilantro
1 small head of cauliflower / half a large head per diner (more or less depending upon taste)
salt to taste

Method:
For my basic recipe, check out Kristy's Cauliflower Rice.  Here is a derivative:

Wash the cauliflower and break into small florets. Food process them in small batches, looking for the cauliflower to stick to the sides and the blade to spin freely (it tells you when it's done!).  Once done with all the batches, you can either cook with the cilantro, lime, and salt in a skillet or microwave in a covered container until softer and less smelly (cauliflower smells strongly once cut--try to cook it or freeze it at once, seal it up tight, and eat it quickly or your entire house will smell pretty sulfurous). The time it takes depends on your preference for doneness and how much you are trying to cook at once, but it's usually no more than 15min max for large batches.  Stir periodically during the cooking.

Alternatively, you can pre-cook halfway and freeze until you need it.  Then, just defrost, squeeze out some accumulated water or drain, and add the seasonings and cook briefly.  Since cauliflower rice is so messy (those little bits get EVERYWHERE), I like to make a whole bunch and freeze what I don't immediately need.  Timesaver!

So there you have it--a meal that takes very little time to prepare and feeds you and your friends/family heartily or lasts you a good few dinners and lunches.  For me, a slow cooker definitely earns its keep, helping me break out of the "I don't feel like cooking" slump and reinvigorating my paleo-style meals.  I highly recommend it!

Oh and in case you haven't seen me on Facebook--please follow the link in my sidebar and friend me for updates and connecting back and forth!

I'm also included on the weekly Paleo Rodeo graciously hosted by Modern Paleo when I get my post together in time.  Check it out for some fantastic recipes and paleo/primal discussions.  Thanks for hosting, Diana!

Did You Say Breadsticks?

OMG.  I just made the MOST delicious awesomeness known to man.  Cauliflower + cheese + egg = "bread" stick divinity.  Seriously, these rock.  They fulfilled my craving for pizza and since I come from the New York area where pizza is at the right hand of Jesus, well, that definitely is saying something.  Seal of approval?  My husband, who fondly remembers crunchy breadsticks from the non-paleo past and who would rather chew on plastic wrappers than eat cauliflower rice or even smell cauliflower rice, has given this recipe two thumbs and two big toes up.  He also enjoyed the gaseous aftereffects that come with eating any Brassica veggie, which he so thoughtfully wafted in my general direction :)  See remedies in that aforelinked post.

My inspiration: The Lighter Side of Low-Carb and author Cleochatra's Cauliflower Breadsticks recipe.  The pictures there are just fantastic--please check out her site!  She is awesome!

Now, I would just stop there and tell everyone to visit her site and that be that.  However, while researching the recipes, I found a few pitfalls.  I had one myself when I spread her pizza "dough" too thin and resurfaced my sheet pan.  Fun cleaning!  I also tried adding more cheese in the second stage and that was more trouble than it was worth.  No need--more will just end up on the pan.  Some people had trouble getting the breadsticks to remain solid, and sometimes crunchiness was difficult to achieve.  Almost all loved them and their flavor, but more refinement and painstaking explanation might help.  So through trial and error, I experimented with her recipe to try to find something that worked well and could be duplicated.  While by no means foolproof, I definitely think that the crunchy, cheesiness grail is well worth the quest.  Let me know how your journey goes!  NOTE: credit for inventing the proportions and basic method of cooking are due to Cleochatra and this recipe in no way replicates hers to steal her steam.  I am merely giving my version of hers with tweaks that worked for me and got me excellent results.  Try her recipe, try my variation on her theme, I don't care--just enjoy these cheesy treats!

So here is my version, happily named I Can't Believe It's Not Bread Sticks!

First: A Note about Cheese


Yes, the Paleo police found me.  I have degenerated to include some Neolithic dairy in my diet.  So sue me.  (No, don't really, please.  Read the side-bar for my medical advice opt out :) ).  So I did come back to dairy, but I did so responsibly.  First, I eliminated it from the diet entirely for a long time (say over 2 months).  Then, I reintroduced it slowly, noticing how different products made me feel and what kinds of dairy I could digest and which ones I couldn't.  The aftereffects are pretty obvious if you can't take dairy well.

I found that I love butter, both inside and out.  Green light there.  Cheese is another story.  I can tolerate raw cheese, especially raw goat cheese like the cheddar I used below (goat milk has different proteins than cow's milk, and they are more similar to human proteins, hence easier digestion).  I bet the raw cheese I tolerate best is grass-fed at least in part, but without that on the label, I can't be sure.  I have heard all aged cheese from outside the US is grass-fed, but that will take more research to validate.  I can also tolerate grass-fed cheese pretty well (actually, I think the processing has more of an adverse effect on me than than not confirmed 100% grass-fed).  Raw grass-fed is probably golden, but I haven't found it often.  Conventional cheese made from grain-fed animals and processed to death with pasteurization and homogenization is crap for me digestively, literally.

Think raw milk is dangerous, think again.  That is what "The Man" wants you to think to repress small farmers feeding for their animals real food and producing whole, real foods from them.  They threaten the Dairy Industry and our processed grain-based economy.  How is raw milk healthy?  Read Raw Milk Facts for the benefits with a slew of references.  We'll get into it more in that dairy Starter Series in the future.  Why raw?  The processing of milk lets it decompose more rapidly and opens the door to invading bacteria.  Organic Pastures, a producer of raw dairy products, describes what processing does:

6. What happens to bacteria in pasteurized milk after pasteurization?

After pasteurization, bacteria found naturally in milk are killed. During the high temperature heating process, cell bodies of these bacteria are ruptured and their contents are spilled, releasing intracellular proteins. This causes many milk drinkers to suffer histamine or allergic reactions. Almost all of these same consumers can drink raw milk and not have allergies. The high levels of bacteria permitted in milk intended for pasteurization are still found in pasteurized milk; they are just dead and not removed by the process.

7. What is homogenization?

Homogenization is the process of destroying the natural butter fat cells found in raw natural milk. This process uses extreme pressure to break apart the soft buoyant fat cells, which cause the remaining small fat pieces to blend into milk and no longer float to the top making the cream line. Some European countries have studies that show that this process is dangerous and may strongly contribute to heart disease and arterial plaguing. Our FDA disputes these findings under pressure from the strong dairy lobby. Homogenization is not a required step, but rather a step of convenience to deny the consumer the ability to see how much cream is actually in the milk they buy.

The rest of that FAQ is well worth the read.  Hell, even your salad is contaminated, so am I crazy to prefer dairy with healthy bacteria who are winning the bacterial war and confer so many probiotic advantages?   To me, it is well worth whatever "risk" the dairy conglomerate has scared us into believing.  I find it fascinating that even lactose intolerant folks can partake in raw, whole fat dairy.  Doesn't that say something profound?

Nourish and not harm.  Raw dairy seems on the right path whereas products from sick cows fed grain that's so toxic to their bodies they have to be pumped full of antibiotics to survive and are injected with hormones to speed their maturity just doesn't cut it.  No wonder it needs processing--how much worse would it be raw?

Now, even though I enjoy some dairy and wouldn't mind if others partook in raw, grass-fed, high-fat dairy too--I by no means think it is essential for anyone, even growing kids.  On a paleo diet, you can get all the calcium you need from fish and green leafy veggies.  Without grains mucking up your digestion, you can absorb calcium much more efficiently from your food (as long as you have adequate vitamin D to absorb it--get tested!).  The problem arises when kids live on grains and have a high acid load in their diet.  Check out what Loren Cordain, The Paleo Diet author, has to say about acid-base balance.  And please don't even get me started about soy milk.  The answer is NO.

Of course, with anything, keep your goals in mind.  Ever hear of the GOMAD rule for powerlifters to drink a Gallon Of Milk A Day to bulk up?  If you don't want to get 70's Big, you might want to limit your milk intake and stick to high fat dairy whenever possible, if you do partake.  Why high fat?  Because saturated fat is GOOD for you.  For realz.  For those of you still drinking skim milk, I weep for you.  You do realize that without the fat you can't absorb the proteins, vitamins, or calcium, right?  Okay, just checking.  So if fat is so good for us, why does milk lead to weight gain?  Hint: it's not the fat!  The answer begins with a big C, and it's also the largest macronutrient percentage in milk.  Hence, choose full fat, high fat dairy if you DON'T want to to get fat.  How crazy is that?!?

Bottom Line: Enjoy the health benefits and deliciousness of full-fat dairy IF your body allows it and only IF you want to!

Now, without further ado, on to the recipe!!!

I Can't Believe It's Not Breadsticks (variation of Cleochatra's Cauliflower Breadsticks)
Can you say crunchy?  Can you say cheesy?  I have already said enough.  
Quantity: Makes about eight 5" sticks per batch and I definitely suggest making more than one!  
Cooking Time: Prep is about 15 minutes, Cooking is about 45 minutes, so a hour start to finish--BUT I'll give you some time-saving tips so that you can skip prep the next time you make them!

Ingredients for 1 batch:

• 1 small cauliflower (or more to get the prep work done for next time)--we want 1 cup of riced cauliflower for each batch--note: mashed cauliflower would probably work just fine too, so mashing or ricing is up to you--we just want it fine and mushy

TIME SAVING TIP: rice (or cook and mash) a large batch of cauliflower, measure out what you want to use today, put the rest in a freezer bag, and freeze until you need it again.  Thaw in the refrigerator (takes a day--so take it out the day before you want to use it or use quick defrost methods like cool water submersion for more closer to instant gratification).

• 1 cup of shredded raw goat cheddar (like Greenbank Farms from WA) or raw grassfed cheddar if you can find it (more if you want to prep for next time) or try other raw grass-fed cheeses

TIME SAVING TIP: shred a whole brick--mine made 5 cups of finely shredded cheese from a 13oz (0.81lb) brick.  That's 5 batches, baby!  Store covered in the refrigerator until you feel the urge.

• 1 egg (yes, make it pastured, farm-raised, or omega-enriched if possible)

TIME SAVING TIP: have more eggs on hand.  You are NOT going to want just one batch of these!  Believe me!

• Spices of your choice.  Pizza spice example: dried oregano, dried (or fresh?) basil, and garlic powder (and a dash of kosher salt) impart a nice pizza-y flavor, and red pepper flakes provide a kick.  Add them on top of the sticks before baking or add the spices to the batter.  Your choice.  

Hardware: 
food processor or chef's knife or grater to rice the cauliflower
     chef's knife and cutting board to cut the cauliflower into food processor-able bits
covered casserole dish to microwave the rice (or cook cauliflower before ricing, your choice)
close-wired strainer
2 sheet pans (one for drying out the strained, cooked cauliflower rice and the other for baking)
BEST choice: a shallow, small baking dish like my 8x11.5 pyrex is PERFECT for a double batch--alternatively: a larger baking dish (will require longer first baking to set and makes 3 batches at once) or loaf pans (one needed per batch, I used 9x5--the wider the base, the better since you want these thin and crunchy)
parchment paper (might need scissors to cut it)
mixing bowls (one small, one medium)
cooling rack
spatula
optional: bench scrapper or pizza-cutter

Method to the Madness: Twice Baking

Okay, two options: 1.  Rice your cauliflower (forget how?  Check out my Cauliflower Rice post), then microwave it, covered, in the casserole dish for a few minutes (stirring once) until hot and mushy, or 2. Cook your cauliflower (fresh with a little water or frozen without water) in a casserole dish, covered, for a few minutes (stir intermittently) until hot and mushy, then let it cool a little and rice it or mash it (limited to the food processor now).  While the second option is great for the ease of using frozen cauliflower without defrosting, I didn't try this route, so proceed at your own risk.  I know that the end product you want to achieve is a mushy, finely-grained, close-to-mashed-potato-consistency rice.  I went the first route with freshly riced rice and another time tried it with frozen, thawed rice.  Both worked perfectly.  Microwaving took me 4 minutes with a stir half-way through.  It might take more time using fresh cauliflower.

Once you have your cooked rice/mash, drain it in batches in a close-wired strainer (press with a spoon to get the water out).  I gave up before mine was bone-dry and just spread it out on a baking sheet to further dry out while I prepped the batches.

Now, prep your baking dish or loaf pan, or multiple if you are smart enough to make more than one batch at a time.  Two batches are required if you actually want to share.  Or if you would just like more for yourself, that's cool.  Don't kid yourself about leftovers, though.  There won't be any.  I had no problem baking one baking dish (makes two batches at once) or two loaf pans (one batch each) at once set in the middle of the oven preheated to 350 degrees (you can stuff the oven with more batches, but just be aware that the cooking time will increase).  Start preheating to 350 degrees now.  Now this is why the easiest option is a small baking dish: one piece of parchment for the whole process!!!  Cut parchment paper to fit your sheet pan.  It just needs to cover the bottom, not travel up the sides.  Take that piece and put it in your baking dish.  It should overflow the baking dish, which is fine.  DON'T CUT IT.  It might not stay yet, but once you plop the dough in and spread it out, it'll be fine.  We'll use it again for the second stage and it'll be perfect!  If you are using loaf pans, you need two pieces of parchment: one narrow piece to lay down first, extending up the narrow sides and another wider piece of parchment to lay across the other direction.  Jam the parchment in there to cover all terrain.  Good.

Now, decide how many batches you are making at once.  I successfully mixed up 3 batches combined without a problem, but if you are using multiple dishes/pans you may have to divide up the mixture.  Remember: small baking dishes need 2 batches to fill them properly, loaf pans need one batch each, and a larger baking dish needs 3 batches and will require more time to set.  Okay, got your number?  Let's go: In a medium bowl, for each batch pour in 1 cup of cauliflower rice/mash (gently measure it by spoonfuls, DON'T press it into the measuring cup) and 1 cup of freshly grated cheese (DON't press to measure) and mix.  Crack and stir one egg per batch in a separate bowl (just in case of shellage) and add to the cauliflower and cheese mixture.  Mix well to combine.  Add any seasonings desired.  Mix again.  Finally, dump mixture into the parchment-lined dish/pan(s) (remember: small baking dish needs 2 batches to fill it, larger baking dish needs 3, and each loaf pan needs one batch).  Press down with a spatula to cover the bottom evenly (avoid a thick center or thick patches or bare patches).

Make sure your oven has come to 350 degrees and whack 'er in for about 20-25 minutes, or until set and the edges were just starting to brown.  You want the top to be set, not runny or wet.  If your edges aren't slightly golden brown yet, just put it back in until they are.  Too light and it'll crack when you remove it from the pan.   Remember the larger the pan you used or the more you put in the oven at once, the longer this first baking will take.  Don't worry, it should be done soon!  Have patience.  I had success at 20min (a lighter, but set "dough") and at 25min for a crispier edged "dough"--however, the more brownage in this stage means the more burnage in the next, so don't overdo it, even if burnt cheese is yummy, don't worry, you'll get enough.

If you are using loaf pans, you need another piece of parchment lining the bottom of a sheet pan for the next stage of baking.  If you are using a baking dish with the parchment you measured for the sheet pan, you are in luck!  You can transfer the parchment from the dish to the sheet.  No mess, no more cutting, no worries!  Yay for simplicity!  I found this streamlining trick amidst multiple batches when I just got lazy--and it worked!  However, a cautionary note about the parchment: 450 degrees is the upper limit of parchment (at least mine), so watch your temperature if you have an oven that runs hot.  I imagine those "safe for use" temperatures are put there for a reason...

Once your "dough" is set (just browning edges, not wet), remove from oven, and START preheating to 450 degrees.  Immediately!  It sucks to wait for preheating.  Now for removal of the Precious.  Start by lifting the parchment slowly seeing if the sides will free themselves without cracking.  If you see any stickage to the parchment at the sides of the "dough," stop and use your spatula to slip in-between the dough and the parchment coming up the side of the pan.  If you see major cracking, your dough isn't set.  Return it to the oven for another 5 minutes and retest after.  Sucks, but that is what happens when you push your luck with larger baking dishes and/or crowded oven.  I know, I have been there.  And no, staring at the clock won't make it go faster.  Just walk away.  Walk away.

Here is what the set "dough" looks like before sheet pan baking (first time I greased the pan with bacon fat--yum!--but parchment is much easier).

If your "dough" is ready, then, carefully pull the parchment out of the dish/pan.  If using a baking dish, simple transfer that parchment to the sheet pan.  If using loaf pans, either try your luck at flipping the "dough" out onto the sheet pan parchment (it helps to fold over the parchment under the dough and carefully invert it onto the sheet pan).  If chicken, cut the "dough" in half so that you can slide a spatula under the "dough" and place each half on the prepared sheet pan.  You can flip it if it is easier or not; I had success both ways but the flipping can be a little hairy.  Once the "dough" is safely on your sheet pan, with a metal spatula/bench scraper/pizza cutter, slice the dough into sticks (I went width-wise to get more bang for my buck) and separate from each other carefully.  Move them around at your own risk!

Once the oven is preheated to 450, whack 'er in for another 15+ minutes or until you reach desired brownage on the top (more time if you stuff your oven full of sheet pans).  Bottoms will be crispy!  Don't worry, you can't really "burn" cheese.  At least I haven't ever...  Once browned to your liking, remove by spatula to a wire rack and cool as long as you can before diving in.  OMG! THEY ARE DELICIOUS!

Storage:  Ha!  Who are we kidding?  Okay, okay, one time I baked mine before dinner and had to wait a couple of hours before devouring.  I cooled them on the wire rack and stored them out of cat's way in the microwave.  Should have cracked the door.  They got a little softer when I returned, so I heated the oven back up to 300 and put them back on their baking sheet for another maybe ten? minutes while I prepped the rest of dinner.  After I heard some sizzling and they were warmed again, I re-cooled them on a wire rack.  The result: crispy, crunchiness re-achieved!  Another time I refrigerated them in a sealed container and just reheated them on a sheet pan until crispy (you'll hear sizzling).  I even ate them cold like cold pizza.  But I would rather have them crispy, crunchy and warm!

So now you have "bread"sticks again.  Happy?  I know I am!

Cauliflower Information

Simply Cauliflower

Cauliflower is great as rice, but those annoying tiny bits get EVERYWHERE.  It seems like just cutting a head of cauliflower in half spells more cleanup than it is worth for a busy night.  So here is another preparation that requires very little prep and just some time in the oven for the cauliflower to caramelize into golden deliciousness.

Don't be a Gaseous Mass

But first, a word about gas.  You heard me: burps, farts, and general flatulence.  Unpleasant?  Yes, it is.  Cauliflower is a vegetable of the cruciferous variety (including brussel sprouts, cabbage, and broccoli) that is highly associated with intestinal gas.  Why?  Each of us has gut bacteria that sit in our intestines and colon and feast upon the foods we eat.  Undigested portions of our food create a great meal for these bacteria, who release hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane gas as their own digestive by-products.  The parts of food that are indigestible to us include some sugars [lactose (dairy sugar), fructose (fruit-sugar), sorbitol (a sugar substitute), and raffinose (the indigestible sugar in cauliflower)] and starches, which are a component of fiber (indigestible starches are usually polysaccharides, which means long chains of sugars like fructose or another common one is cellulose, a component of all plant cells).  Cellulose itself isn't enough to cause excessive gas since the bacteria feast upon it very slowly, but combined with indigestible sugars and starches, it can create unpleasantness.  Besides cruciferous vegetables, foods with these gassy reactions include beans (which we avoid for their lectins); grains and other starches (which we also avoid for a slew of reasons); onions, artichokes, and pears for their fructose;  carbonated beverages (duh); many fruits for their soluble fiber that creates a gel only broken down in the intestines; and dairy [which we also avoid since it is highly concentrated grain (what most cows eat)].

Other bacteria in the intestines actually utilize the gas these bacteria produce, so the system is in balance.  However, when you eat foods that overwhelm this system, bloating and flatulence is the outcome.  How much gas is too much?  People differ in the amount of gas-producing bacteria and how gassy those bacteria are.  We all have our own unique digestive flora, like alien worlds within us.  Some people have less efficient digestive tracts, so more food makes it down into the intestines and colon (for example, those that eat grains and have already put their digestive systems in crisis mode).  Celiacs (those with gluten intolerance) and those who are lactose intolerant (can't eat dairy) fall into this category.  Finally, those little gassy bacteria can overrun the place and get out of hand.  Usually they reside only in the colon, but overpopulation can lead to expansion into the small intestine.  There is more food in the small intestine being broken down and absorbed, so more bacterial feasting can occur.  

What can we do about it?

Well, some sites say to avoid cruciferous vegetables entirely--which knocks out broccoli, brussel sprouts, and cabbage.  To forgo a whole category of vegetable is crazy, especially since they are so tasty and nutritious!  Naysayers, I fart in your general direction.

Others sites suggest less extreme remedies.  Here are some that don't include regular supplementation or drugs:

1. Exercise more.  Exercise gets your body moving so that gas can pass through your system easier and not get holed up inside, creating bloating.  What exercise do I recommend?  CROSSFIT!!!! (Note: try the main site if you aren't in Santa Cruz).  Find a gym and workout regularly.  The proof is in the results. 
2. Eat a carminative, an herb or preparation to fight intestinal problems by either reducing gas formation or aiding its expulsion.  Carminatives include: anise seeds, basil, nutmeg, peppermint, ginger, caraway seeds, cardamon seeds, cinnamon, coriander, dill, cumin, fennel, marjoram, onion, oregano, rosemary, saffron, spearmint, and thyme.  Examples include: 
1. Drinking peppermint tea.  Peppermint is a carminative that relaxes intestinal muscles to help ease the passing of gas.  
2. Eating ginger soaked in lemon juice after a meal.  Ginger and lemon juice are also carminatives.  You can suck on a piece of ginger soaked in lemon juice or grate it into hot water and add lemon juice. 
3. Chewing fennel or anise seeds after a meal.  Same deal with these: carminatives.  You can also crush them and make them into tea. 
4. Drinking water spiked with lemon juice, another carminative, with meals.  
3. Drink water.  Some recommend lukewarm water with lime juice and honey in the morning on an empty stomach as a remedy. 
4. Eat foods containing probiotics such as fermented foods.  Probiotics might aid in the elimination of gas.  Probiotics are usually bacteria or yeasts similar to healthy gut bacteria that you need to digest food.  They can aid digestion by contributing reinforcements to your own bacteria.  Check back for more on them in another post, since they are a big can of worms.      
5. Avoid high fat quantity with gas producing foods since fat slows digestion and can lead to gas build-up in the stomach.  Remember, balanced meals are best, so always eat some fat, just don't go overboard when eating foods that make you gassy.  
6. Use an over the counter remedy such as Bean-o.  Bean-o contains a plant-derrived enzyme that breaks down raffinose (the indigestible sugar in cauliflower) before it enters the colon.  
7. Try to buildup your tolerance to gas-producing foods if you have a little every day.  

Main Sources:
Medicine Net

Web MD

Okay, now that everyone is feeling a little intestinal discomfort, on to our recipe which might give you a chance to try out this new knowledge!

Simple Roasted Cauliflower

What is better than caramelized, GB and D (golden brown and delicious) cauliflower?  Takes awhile, but well worth the wait and simplicity!

Zone Blocks: 4 cups of cauliflower is one block of carbohydrate.  

1 head of cauliflower per diner

garlic powder

salt

olive oil

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.  Wash the cauliflower head and cut in half (I know a little mess, but not nearly as much as with the rice!).  You might want to trim off the leaves since those aren't as tasty even when roasted.  Place head halves on a sheet pan lined with parchment paper (I totally destroyed a sheet pan when I didn't use it, so you are hereby warned) and sprinkle with olive oil.  Toss to coat all sides and parchment.  Then, dust liberally with garlic powder (the smell of this roasting will fill the house with garlicky goodness!) and sprinkle on some salt.  Whack it in the oven for about 30 minutes and check for browning (could take up to an hour).  If you don't have it yet or feel like chancing the carbon gods and going for a darker shade of brown at the cusp of burning, be my guest.  If you have acceptable brownage, flip and let 'er go another half an hour or so until you see similar browning on this side.  Once you are happy with your caramelized cauliflower, enjoy the feast--and go ahead, eat as much as want!

Serving Suggestions:

This makes an excellent side dish for any meat.  Try to avoid going overly fatty in the other foods you are serving with cauliflower to help prevent our friend flatulence.

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

(a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail in case you mistakenly thought I was being rude :) )

Cauliflower

Cauliflower Rice

Rice is nice when you crave a grainy consistency.  Sticky or fluffy, it bulks up your meal and adds a great texture component.  Rice may be touted as healthy, especially if it is brown or wild, but really, who are they kidding?  Unfortunately, just about everyone.

I have heard the argument that kids need grains.  They are "good" for them.  What can you get out of a grain that you can't get tenfold from vegetables, fruit, and meat?  Name me something other than digestive problems.  Don't think you have digestive problems with grain?  Try giving it up for two weeks, cold turkey, then go right back to eating your bread, pasta, and rice.  See how it feels to clean out your system and reintroduce an irritant.  Chances are highly in my favor that you won't be fine.

Why No Rice?


Rice is a grain.  White rice is a highly refined carbohydrate, meaning it is processed to make it more digestible.   Doesn't that say something right there?  If we have to process something to eat it, should we be eating it?  That is one of the reasons behind arguments against tubers (they have to be cooked to be eaten).  There is definitely more to argue here, but trying to consume less processed foods is a step in the right direction.

White rice has lost most of its nutrient value since its outer layers have been stripped away.  But lectins and antinutrients are still prevalent.  According to the "Nutritional Quality of Cereals" chapter of Fermented Cereals: a Global Perspective, grains mess with your enzymes, chemicals needed for chemical reactions vital to your bodily processes.  The enzyme inhibitors found in rice are concentrated in the bran (i.e. what brown rice retains) and interfere with digestion causing problems with the pancreas (where insulin is made) and disrupting amino acid utilization.  The kicker: these enzyme inhibitors are heat stable, meaning they stick around after cooking.

According to Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes, a prominent reference detailing the problems with refined carbohydrates, a British researcher and retired physician of the British Royal Navy, named Thomas Cleave, tried to warn the medical community in the 1960s.  He found a trend that societies who left their traditional foods and adopted a carbohydrate staple such as sugar, white rice, and white flour were set on a disastrous path.  With these refined grains came cavities and periodontal disease then obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.  Refining grains increases their digestibility, which means a blood sugar spike as they are quickly broken down into glucose.  It also means they can easily be over-eaten since they are refined down and more concentrated.  Look at the Zone blocks of rice (brown or white): 1/5 of a cup.  That is just over 3 tablespoons.  Is it worth it?

Rice is also high glycemic.  On a scale where 100 is white sugar or pure glucose, white rice averages 64, long grain white rice at 56, brown rice averages at 55,  and even wild rice receives a 54.  High glycemic foods are 50 and higher, meaning they easily break down into glucose and flood your blood, spiking your blood sugar dangerously.

While glycemic index numbers around 50 might not convince you, glycemic load values should.  Glycemic index values measure how fast a carbohydrate breaks down into glucose, which floods the bloodstream.  Glycemic load takes into account quantity of carbohydrate in a food to give a more complete picture.  For example, while watermelon is sugary and high glycemic at 103, it is also full of water and has less carbohydrate content, so its glycemic load is really low at 4.  Your best bet is to eat foods low on both scales, and more often than not, foods low on the glycemic index also have a low glycemic load, which  means values of 10 or less (20 or more are considered high).

The glycemic load of rice is much more nefarious than its glycemic index.  White rice and long grain white rice share the same number: 23.  Wild rice and brown rice both have glycemic loads of 18.  Most rice glycemic loads were extremely high, though.  How about a glycemic load of 60 for boiled white low-amylose rice from Turkey or 46 for rice cooker prepared jasmine rice?  Look for yourself on this comprehensive international table of glycemic index and glycemic load values.    

Think your kids still need grains to be healthy?  Probably not, but that might not be the problem.  Many people just fall back on grains because they feel they have few alternatives.  Try this: Cauliflower Rice.  Cauliflower works perfectly as a rice substitute.  It can be sticky with the right addition of liquid or fluffy when sauteed just like the Uncle Ben's commercial's advertised.  Frustrated your kids won't eat veggies? Here is one they will devour.

Why Cauliflower?

Cauliflower is a clean palate in the world of veggies.  It has little of its own flavor, but loves to soak in that of its sauces and spices.  It also has a great ability to be tossed in the food processor and come out in rice-like kernels similar to the pasta variety of couscous.

Cauliflower is chock full of nutrients.  It is one of Barry Sear's top 100 Zone foods for being filling, high in fiber, low in calories, and vitamin rich.  It has your recommended dosage of vitamin C in just one cup.  Its heart helping nutrients, folate and vitamin B6, break down homocysteine, an artery damaging chemical.  Its phytonutrients also protect against cancer.  One study found that combining the spice turmeric with cauliflower leads to protection again prostate cancer and slows its growth, perhaps accounting for the low incidence of prostate cancer among men in India.  

Rapid cooking keeps the nutrients intact and avoids mushiness or sulfurous compounds that can make cauliflower bitter and smelly.  Cauliflower is in the same family of vegetables as cabbage and kale, so it has similar health benefits.  So what can I do with it?  Read on!

Kristy's Cauliflower Rice
This will take your love of rice dishes to a new level.  Have fun experimenting!
Zone Blocks: 4 cups of cooked cauliflower (in floret form) is one block.  Eat your fill!

1 medium head of cauliflower per diner

Hardware:
chef's knife
cutting board
spatula or rubber scraper
food processor
salad spinner
large bowl

Cut the cauliflower into florets of medium size (no need to cut down to small ones, but the food processor doesn't like them too large either).  Yes, this is messy and I always get particles of cauliflower all over the counter, floor, my clothing...  It is the price for home-made goodness.

Wash the florets and do a quick scan for little buggies that enjoy hiding in the nooks and crannies.  Spin the florets in a salad spinner or dry some archaic method.  Plop a handful into your food processor (DO NOT load up your food processor--believe me--you'll be scooping out the unbroken florets to repulse in two batches anyway) and pulse til you break up the big chunks (probably less than 10 pulses).  Then, hold down the button and continue to process until the cauliflower rises up the sides of the processor and the blade just spins uselessly, just a minute.  I love how the cauliflower itself determines the right consistency--no need to fuss.  It tells you when it is done by rising up the sides away from the blade.  Scoop out the rice into your bowl, replace the blade that likely fell out too, and repeat.

Continue to work through your cauliflower in batches.  I know this is tedious and you might be tempted to load up the food processor, but don't unless you want that challenge of trying to scoop out large chunks amongst the processed rice to reprocess them.  Not worth it, man.  Not worth it.  

Once done, you are ready to cook.  Basically, the rice just needs heating and time to mesh with some spices.  It can be ready in 10 minutes or less.  If you like your rice sticky and clumpy, try adding liquid to the cooking method you use.  The rice comes out fluffy with sautéing.  Try using your cauliflower rice in any rice dish (just remember to cook it first)!  Below are some cooking options that I have enjoyed:

Cooking Options: 

Cilantro-Lime Curry Rice

Delicious Indian spices with a citrus kick.

ingredients:
Kristy's Cauliflower Rice for 2
1/4 C chopped cilantro
1 lime, cut in half (more if desired)
curry powder
turmeric
garlic powder
salt
coconut oil
optional: instead of powdered garlic, use chopped garlic and grated fresh ginger and add them with the other spices
also optional: like your rice more sticky? add some chicken broth while cooking to clump it

Prepare the Kristy's Cauliflower Rice above.  Then, heat a skillet over medium heat and add the coconut oil.  Up to you how much, but a tablespoon will probably do.  Once hot, add the spices (start with a tablespoon of curry powder, turmeric, and garlic and a pinch of salt if desired).  Give them a moment to get fragrant, then, add the cauliflower rice and mix well.  I have had success with adding it in batches since there is too much rice to mix at once.  Taste and add more spices if desired.  You want to warm the rice without making it mushy (or add some chicken broth if mushy is your goal), so it should be done in 10min or less.  Once done, squeeze half a lime over the top and stir in chopped cilantro.  Taste and add more lime as needed.  The lime really adds a great flavor kick, awaking the spices and flavors.

Serving suggestions:
Add any cooked meat to the rice or serve beside it.  We have had great success with scallops and shrimp (just saute in coconut oil).  It also pairs great with fish, especially when prepared using a recipe with the same spices.

NOTE: the above picture is of the following rice recipe prior to adding the shrimp, but since it looks pretty much the same as Cilantro-Lime Curry Rice, I used its picture.

Indian Spiced Paella
This recipe came about when trying to make the rice above but finding out with horror that I was out of curry powder, as I was cooking.  So I grabbed other spices that looked good and came out with something quite tasty.  


ingredients:

Kristy's Cauliflower Rice for 2

two servings of uncooked, cleaned shrimp (however much you want to eat; tails on or off)

1/4 C chopped cilantro

1 lime, cut in half (more if desired)

coriander

turmeric

dried onion (or regular onion, chopped)

chili powder

garlic 6 cloves (or more), chopped and split into two equal piles

ginger, about 1-inch segment, grated or chopped finely, to get about the same amount as the garlic, split into two equal piles

salt

coconut oil

Prepare your garlic and ginger first--too often have I overheated a pan during preparation taking longer than expected.  Heat coconut oil in a skillet over medium heat and add one pile of the garlic and ginger and the spices: one tablespoon each of turmeric, coriander, dried onion, chili powder (this one is up to you), plus a pinch of salt if desired.  Give them a moment to get fragrant, then add the rice and mix throughly.  Taste and add more spices if desired.  You want to warm the rice without making it mushy, so it should be done in 10min or less (or, if mushy is your goal, add some chicken broth).  Once done, squeeze half a lime over the top and stir in chopped cilantro.  Taste and add more lime as needed.  Scoop cooked rice into a bowl and clean out your skillet.

Now for the shrimp.  Add more coconut oil and the remaining piles of garlic and ginger to your skillet placed back over medium heat.  Once fragrant, add your shrimp and get your tongs ready.  Shrimp cook fast, so give them a minute and start flipping.  You are looking for white, opaque color and pinkness in the tails (if you left them on).  Treat each shrimp individually, don't wait for the whole batch to turn.  Once you think a shrimp is done, both sides, get it out fast.  Shrimp overcook in a heartbeat, so err on the side of "I think this looks done" rather than "Yup, that is definitely done."  They will continue to cook a little when you toss them in the hot rice, which of course, is the last step!

Enjoy your paleo feast!


Pesto Rice (check back for the recipe coming soon!)

Cauliflower